(so the first trip to the gym was a success and i plan on returning tonight to try out a class)

today is my friend meredith from work's birthday. last night i went grocery shopping. on my birthday in july meredith baked me a very delicious, moist, excellent chocolate cake. i wished to return the favor. last night i was tired. alex and i didn't get to the grocery store until about 9:30/9:45. we walked into the produce section and then towards the back right corner of the store where the bakery was located. i wanted to buy a cake. i did not want to make a cake. alex told me i was a bad friend because meredith made me a cake and i wanted to buy her one from price chopper. he said he was ashamed that i would not make a cake for her. "but i'm tired!" i whined. alex laughed at me and told me he was just kidding. he helped me pick out a particularly yummy looking snickers cake.

i knew that meredith would be in late today because she had to pick up a rental car before work. i made an effort to get here early (or at least on time) anyways, but still did not get here until about 5 after. damn my late disorder! meredith was not here yet. i snuck the cake into the back of the refridgerator and stuck her birthday card on her desk. i emailed everyone in our department but meredith that i brought in a snickers cake to surprise meredith in honor of her birthday and we would have it at about 2:15.

about 1:15 meredith, carrie and i went to the american cafe at colonie center mall for lunch. our waitress was horrible and shared too much information. we came back late. very late. while we were walking in michael yelled out to me, "well ali, we found the snickers cake on our own and just went ahead and ate it" to which i responded, "well, thanks michael it was a surprise until now". we all laughed over it. michael puts his foot in his mouth all the time. he accidently told carrie who dies in harry potter 5 a couple of weeks ago.

the cake was very good. michael believed for a few minutes that i made it. it's never dull in the office when michael is here.

my pants were getting tight. and my cute/tight jeans were not looking so cute anymore.

dammit.

why can't i just eat whatever i want, drink whatever i want and sit around and watch tv and not get fat? i had a fat issue.

so i had to do something. i worked hard a couple of years ago to get rid of 60 lbs, i will not let myself climb back up there.

so i began researching fitness centers in the area:

i used to belong to YMCA with my family. they still go there, but i'm not eligable to be a family member anymore according to their rules (how weird is that?) and it's damn expensive to join there (especially that Y) as a single person.

alex goes to gold's gym. but that place is also expensive (and i don't get a handy "life saver" discount like alex does) and i've heard from some girls that it's kind of a body builder place.

carrie and amy go to ABC Sports & Fitness. i went there with carrie yesterday because she was going to let me "sublet" her membership because she wasn't using it enough to make the $45 a month worth it for her. it was a very nice facility and amy especially raves about the classes there, but i felt weird about subletting a membership and was worried about getting caught. so i declined her offer.

there's a bally's at the mall, but i'm sure it's expensive and if you work out there anyone walking by in the mall can look in the large windows and see you sweat... so i ruled that one out as well.

then i found the website for the fitness factory. michael at work goes to that gym and he loves it. and the website actually had prices on it. and schedules for the aerobics classes. and there are locations in albany on the way home from work and one in clifton park. and the prices are pretty low. so today during lunch i dragged meredith with me to check it out. they had a decent number of elliptical machines (my favorite), a large weight room with a seperate women's only weight room, tanning beds (an extra charge), and a nice sized aerobics room. the locker rooms were decent... not anally clean like the Y in Clifton Park, but not overly scummy either.

so i decided to just go ahead and buy a membership at the fitness factory. and i was in luck because they were running a special: $100 for 100 days. so now i have a membership there paid through jan 15. i am so excited. i brought workout clothes with me today so i can go after work. i'm hoping to get there at least three times a week. and the increased activity combined with my new willingness to go back to "being good" in my eating habits will hopefully pay off.

fat issue be gone!

i love my living room. and i'll tell you why. it's a real room. it has furniture that matches. there is accent lighting. there are curtains. there is a bookshelf with both books and little nicknacks displayed. there are framed pictures and art on the walls. when you walk in the room you can tell that thought went into it and things weren't haphazzardly deposited in the room.

my living room is my favorite room of my apartment. it represents to me the fact that i am independent. when i lived at home with my parents i never had a living room of my own. sure, i have my own bedroom which had many of the things a living room has and i was able to do pretty much anything i wanted with that room but when it came down to it, it was my parents's room and they were just letting me use it. but now i am living on my own. i can be my own person. and while that means that i am responsible for myself in every way, i'm glad to be. i don't have to worry about stepping on someone's toes when i make decisions about my life. it's my life, my own, and i can live it the way i want to.

my living room is like the actual physical manifestation of my being on my own, which explains my obsession with it. the last month saw me restless and seeking change. i was unfocused in my need for change though, and unsure what i wanted. i let the clutter build in my apartment and neglected the cleaning. but somehow i've gotten past that need for change. i'm not sure what did it, but i've found myself happy again with where i'm at. i'm content with what i have. i don't think i'm settling, either. i think i'm just appreciating what i have. so now i've broken out the vaccum cleaner and the dust rags. i've rearranged the living room and added a few new accessories. and now it looks like a whole new room and i'm excited about it again. i guess that's what i did for my outlook: dusted it off, rearranged the way i looked at it and now my life doesn't seem so haphazzard. it's amazing how far i've come in a year and a half. i'm proud of myself and excited again about being me.