SO FAR, NO GOOD...

I did make it to the gym Monday and Today so far this week, but I've been totally sucking when it comes to food. I've been just gorging myself on anything I can get my hands on (or rather, my mouth around). Sigh... I need to stop with the "all or nothing attitude". I have one slip up and I let it ruin my whole day because I start rationalizing, "well, I already f-ed up when I ate that package of caramel cremes. I might as well have Burger King for dinner." Ugh. I keep blaming the fire for my weight gain ("I've been so depressed and out of control... I've been eating to make myself feel better."), but I really have to stop. I have to *own it* and stop making excuses.

Tomorrow is a new day...

Literacola? Do we make literacola here?

So, IrishFest came and went and it was a good time. A very good time, this year indeed. I got "perfect-happy-Guinness-drunk" which means that I was drunk enough to feel like a little kid, bouncing happily from band to band and dancing all the while, but not so drunk that I ever felt sick. Somehow, I timed the Guinness consumption just right. Maybe the maturity inherent in being 26 did it for me. Doubt it. I'm 26, but I'm not all that mature. ;)

Speaking of getting old, Alex's birthday was Sunday. He's 24 now. Aw... I got him a PSP and managed to surprise him. He really didn't expect it and he absolutely loves it. Rock! It was either that, or get him a PS2 to replace the one that we lost in the fire, but I figured that the PSP was the "hot new thing" and I went for that. The display on it is AMAZING. Now we totally geek out in the evenings and watch DVR-ed episodes of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (I'm totally hooked) while we either play on our portable gaming systems or our laptops.

Also this past weekend was our first wedding of the fall season. We have three more to go to now. (Sigh... expensive fall... we're so poor...) This wedding was Alex's friend, Jay (who recently became a Schenectady firefighter) and his now-wife, Jess's. It was outdoors at a place in Averill Park called Crystal Cove. I'd never been to an outdoor wedding before and the website for Crystal Cove wasn't very informative, so I wasn't sure what to expect. It was beautiful. The ceremony itself was in a wooded part above the lake just down from the pavilion. The pavilion had a large deck where the bar was and the covered part, where the tables and dance floor were located, had a high, arch-trimmed ceiling with chandeliers. Very cool. The wedding was quite a party - but nothing less was expected of Jay and Jess's wedding. I must say, this is the first wedding that I've ever been to (and, I'll venture to say, the last) where dinner music included death metal and Led Zepplin. ;) Anyway, it was good times and you have to look at the pictures because Jess's dress is absolutely gorgeous. I thought right away that it looked like an Anne Barge - it had a split neckline - and when I congratulated her in the receiving line, I said, "Your dress is amazing! It looks like an Anne Barge!" and she replied, "How did you know?!" It turns out that she had it made to resemble one. It was stunning. Anyway, go ahead and take a look at the pictures, they're here.

We've got a bit of a break from weddings for a few weeks. The next one is Foster and Amy's on the 15th, and then the weekend after that it's Beck and Kevin's!! I can't believe it's so soon! I'm SO excited for them!!!

What else... Oh, Meredith's Baby Shower is this weekend. I'm SO excited for her and Eric as well! The baby will be here so soon! I can't wait to meet him! :) That reminds me, though, that I really want to have them over soon - at least before they have to worry about babysitters, etc. :)

Sigh... I remember thinking that I had so many other things that I wanted to post about, but it's late and I can't remember anymore. Back to watching Alex play XBox and contemplating going to bed...

SO I'M REALLY TRYING TO GET "BACK ON THE WAGON"

So I'm really trying to get "back on the wagon" today. Or, I was planning on really trying... Turns out, I suck so far.

I think that the best way to get myself to "be good" is to make myself feel accountable for my actions regarding being healthy. Weight Watchers definitely did that for me. But, since I'm so extremely poor and can't even afford the $11 a week that it would cost me to start going back to meetings (at least until I lose enough that I'm within a range of my goal weight), I need to come up with another way...

I think that the best way to get myself to be good is to be completely honest on this blog... so, here goes: Weight as of Monday AM: 179.6

Ok, actually, I need to come up with a standard for myself... rules... 1. I'll weigh myself every monday and post it here. 2. I'll track my points using my treo. 3. I'll go to the gym Mon, Wed, & Fri and do the weight routine that the trainor at the gym gave me and 30 minutes of cardio. 4. I'll post here Mon, Wed, & Fri with a status of how well I'm staying on the wagon...

So... here goes...