It's Getting Better All the Time...

I just have to say that I rocked at work today.

Yesterday, I was shit. I was awful. I couldn't get anything done. So today I came into work with 10 things on my diary to do, with, like, five of those things leftover from yesterday.

And I got everything done today. And I got stuff done today that was on my diary for tomorrow. And some of the stuff that I got done today was complex. I rock!!

So tomorrow I have one thing on my diary. And I think I'll just go ahead and do that before I leave tonight. So that way, I can use tomorrow to catch up on my mail (which, I'm like a month and a half at least behind on).

Rock.

Oh, and also, I'm feeling better about the NYSP score. It gives me longer to prepare for the physical portion, which I needed. And I was told by someone that he was ranked, like 10,000 or something like that when he took the test and he still got called back. And then I was told by another person that she heard that anything over an 80 is a pretty good score for that test. And also, the number is just a number. Now all I can do is prepare the best I can and wait. So yeah. Not so depressed about that anymore.

Also, I'd like to say that I'm hella impressed with myself, because I just performed spell check on this post and I actually spelled everything right. How about that, Mr. Bagnato, who gave me a D in sixth grade for spelling!

Well, I got my score.

So the one day when I didn't come home and go right out to the mailbox to see if my score for the New York State Police Exam came, it arrived. Of course that's the way it'd go. It's not an impressive score. I got a 82.14, which gave me a ranking of 5031. Out of... I don't know how many. I thought I heard some ridiculous number like 20000 or 40000 or something like that at one point. It's not terrible. It's not great, either.

I don't know how I feel about it. I can't help but think, "ew, that's a low 'B'" and that's really depressing to me, because I don't like to be average. I like to be better than average. I like to do well at things. I feel like I suck, slightly.

At least I'll have like at least a year before I'd have to be worried about if they call me back for further processing. I could be really buff by then. If I get called back.

Sigh. I think I'm disappointed in myself.

AND I DID IT WITH A BRA ON...

I made my 10% goal at Weight Watchers!

I was sort of nervous for weigh in. I'd been a good girl all week, but I'd eaten a lot. I'd earned tons of activity points, and pretty much eaten all of them, and I ate almost all of my flex points as well. So, I thought I'd probably lose, but it probably wouldn't be a lot. All I needed to lose was 0.2lbs though!

I weighed my clothes in the morning before I decided what to wear. I guess that's a little embarrassing to admit, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I wore a skirt and twinset that weight just a wee bit more than last week's outfit. I also wore a bra. ;)

I didn't think about weighing in too much during the day, like I'd done the week before. But as I drove up to the center, I was definitely nervous. And then there was a line. So I had to wait. And wait...

... and finally it was my turn. I stepped on the scale and... I'd lost 2.2 lbs! I couldn't believe it! I ruled! It brought my total loss to 19 lbs.

So I floated into the meeting and was all giggly happy and got to tell the group that I'd made my 10% goal (with my bra on).

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO NOTICE IT, I'M ONE HELL OF A GORGEOUS CHICK!

So Monday evening, we went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner because we don't have a grill at the apartment and I wanted steak because it was Memorial Day and that means grilling. I did very well with my ordering: salad with no croutons or cheese (0 pts), fat free tangy tomato dressing on the side (1 pt), 1 slice of bread - no butter (2 pts), 1 chicken wing (4 pts), 1/2 Victoria's Fillet (5 pts), and steamed veggies - no butter (0 pts). So I rocked. And that can be hard at Outback.

Near the end of the meal, I went to the bathroom. As I was washing my hands, I suddenly noticed myself in the mirror. For the first time, I actually looked at myself since I've been back at Weight Watchers. And I really noticed a difference! My jeans were hanging off me. And if I took off my hoodie and stood there in my tank top, I looked so thin! I was so excited that I stood there and posed for myself in the mirror for a good five minutes. And when I finally tore myself away from the mirror and walked back to the booth, I walked tall and proud.

I guess we naturally don't try and see ourselves in a good light because we don't want to be full of ourselves. And I certainly wouldn't want to be self-deluding. But I guess every once in a while it's good to step back and take a look at what I've accomplished. I really feel good about myself now. And that rocks.