so i've been playing with my new toy tonight (the digital cable) and i started watching the discovery health channel. this channel is always on in the waiting room of my doctor's office. i thought it would be incredibly dull, but the program that i'm watching is very interesting. it's called berman & berman and it's a talk show about women's (sexual) health issues run by two sisters (one is a sex therapist and the other is a urologist). i really like the way that the sisters run their show. it's not very smooth or whatever, but they're very frank. when they talk about specific topics it does seem like they're doing more of a presentation than a talk show, but then they start discussing the facts they just presented and it's back to the talk show format again.

their topic tonight is virginity. they had a "secondary virgin" on who talked about how she was into "drugs and rock and roll" when she was in her teens and twenties and that she dressed "like a hoochie-mama" (I can't believe she actually used that term, i was embarrassed for her) but that one day she felt an emptiness inside her so she went to church and decided to be celibate. ok. good for her. whatever. but then she started talking about how sex is dirty and that she wants to save herself for her wedding day and wear the white dress because she wants her husband to know that she waited her whole life for him blah blah blah and i'm thinking, well honey, you already blew that. i'm sorry, but deciding to not have sex until you're married after you've already had sex (and lots of it from what she was saying) does not make you a virgin. it makes you a wannabe. and it certainly does not mean that you can tell your husband you've waited your whole life for him.

then they had this other woman on who was a 35 year old "true" virgin. she's in a relationship right now where they don't even kiss. she thinks they're heading towards marriage and expects to be married by the end of the year. she seemed pretty relaxed about the whole thing. she wasn't saying that sex was dirty or whatever. and she said that she's accepting and warm towards people who don't share her beliefs, that it's a personal choice. but when one of the sisters asked her what if her husband sucks she pretty much responded that she wouldn't know the difference and that he'd be able to teach her about sex (he's a "secondary" virgin) and they'd have the rest of their lives to get it right. uh huh. i feel bad for her. she's waited for 35 years. can you imagine that pressure on her wedding night? and she won't even masterbate because she feels that it's witholding something from her husband. wow.

one of the audience members spoke up and said that she was 35 years old and a virgin on her wedding night and she claims that she is blessed and has a wonderful sex life. i don't really believe her. i mean, how would she really know? she said that one of the best things for her about waiting is that her husband feels very special because "he's the only one for [her]." right.

the thing that's really disturbing to me about these women is that one of the major reasons they are virgins is to make their husbands feel special. whatever. that's really heinous to me. i mean, these women don't require that their husbands be virgins when they marry them. both 35 year olds were partnered with men who had already had sex (and the secondary virgin wasn't dating so i don't know whether she expected her husband to be and also she's desperate and hasn't dated since she's turned celibate and also she's a faker so i don't count her). what a freaking double standard that is! i mean, they want their men to feel special because they're the only guys they've been with, but they don't expect the same from their men? it seems to me that waiting until your wedding night is supporting a view of women that places them in a servientile role to their husbands. and that's incredibly offensive to me.

i agree that most kids (let's not limit it to girls) have sex way before they are emotionally ready to handle it, but i don't think that means they should wait until they're married. i think they should wait until they're ready. of course, that leads to the question, "how do you know when you're ready?" and i don't really have an answer for that. i guess it's different for everyone. i was 18 when i first had sex and thinking back on it i was really such a stupid young kid. but i don't think it was too soon. i think i was ready. i was in college and with a guy that i was in love with at the time and that i wasn't doing it for him (to keep him with me or something like that), i was doing it for me. i guess that's how i knew i was ready. i think that when you have that experience of being that intimate with someone else it can mature you. so someone who never experiences that is lacking a maturity in that arena and doesn't seem to be fully an adult to me. how can you make adult decisions about the rest of your life (marriage) when you still have a childlike view on some things?

people need to own their sexuality. it's not something to be ashamed of or something that should be saved or surrendered to another person.

anyway. interesting show. love the digital cable.

digital cable rules.

Episode II was on one of the many HBO channels and the picture was actually awesome. i didn't really expect the picture to look much different, but it really looked great. it looked like i was playing a DVD. I didn't realize that when you get HBO you get all the HBO channels so I have like 7 channels of HBO. rock! I was looking through all of the new channels i get now last night and i discovered Boomerang from cartoon network. they play all the classic/old cartoons on there. rock. i am very happy about that. i love old cartoons. and the guide function of digital cable is freaking awesome. it makes it worth the extra money right there.

so alex and i watched Episode II and then The Three Musketeers while we ate the awesome dinner I made. I made this chicken couscous dish that rocked. it had garlic and feta cheese and broccoli and tomotoes. it was so good. alex tried to show me how to work my new cable. after he left i watched a current episode of sex and the city. i was so excited to be seeing an episode from this season. i'm so excited that i can see the final episode when it plays instead of waiting for the dvd. i'm getting better at the remote, but i wasn't as quick with it as alex was when i first started playing with it. but yeah, i'm very happy with my new toy :)

i'm getting digital cable today. i'm so hella excited. i was randomly sitting around sunday night and i started checking the prices on digital cable. it turns out that with their one package (which actually, i guess they're not going to offer anymore because i just got a flyer with new prices the day after i ordered it so i got in just in time) i get digital cable plus one "premier" channel (i picked hbo) and road runner for $98 a month. after taxes that's only $15 more than i pay now and i get HBO plus all the extra digital cable channels (and i'm kind of excited about BBCAmerica) so i figured i'd go for it. The cable guy should be coming any minute now. Alex is going to meet him for me. my sister was going to do it for me, but she would have had to bring our little brother down with her to wait for the cable guy because she's watching him for mom this afternoon and i didn't want to have the little guy have to hang out in my apartment all afternoon. that would have sucked for him. so i asked alex and he's doing it for me. he fixed my setup with my dvd player/playstation/stereo. i couldn't get the dvd player to work before but he says it's working now. so that rules :) i can't wait to be able to watch HBO tonight :) i'm going to cook dinner too. rock. dinner and good tv.

so the birthday was a good time.

work finally ended. it wasn't a bad day at work. i went to lunch with Carrie and Meredith at Bennigan's (had the Turkey O'Toole) and they treated because it was my birthday. then when we got back to the office Meredith surprised me with a homemade chocolate cake that was very rich and very good.

the whole family came to the apartment after work and brought me dinner and cake. very nice. mom made chicken continental, which is like my favorite ever, so that ruled. i ate (too much). the family didn't stay too long. i think my apartment's too small to have that many people in it at once...

Meredith came over to pick me up to go to McGeary's and Dodi and Tristan dropped by to give me my birthday gift and then Beck and Kevin and Kevin's roommate, Dave, dropped by on the way there as well. Dodi gave me the cutest gift ever: the bag was too adorable (pink!) and she stuffed it with a butterfly notepad and matching pen and some glittery lip stuff and a gift certificate to borders. Beck gave me these two very cute dancing hamsters: Hamzilla is dressed like Godzilla and it plays "Godzilla" and its eyes light up and Mona is dressed like a lounge singer and she sings "Respect" (and it's so freaking cute because she like screams at one part). Beck also gave me this really pretty butterfly frame that's beaded and intricate. i don't have a picture i like enough to put in there yet, but i'm hoping that i'll have one from europe (one month from today we leave!!!!).

McGeary's was packed. Hair of the Dog was excellent as usual. I unfortunately could not seem to get drunk (damn the big meal and the filling guinness!). but i had a good time nontheless.

I spent Friday morning relaxing and watching morning TV that I never get to watch (Price is Right) and then i hung out with the sistah for a while. we went to the mall (and i could not seem to spend money, even though i tried) and then watched fear and loathing in las vegas which i just remembered i have to return tonight. i hung out with beck later. we walked to Dunkin' Donuts and ate breakfast sandwhiches and then walked back to my apartment where we beached ourselves on the sofas and watched TV.

Saturday was quiet for most of the day as well. I went mini-golfing with Beck and Kevin that night. we almost didn't leave the house because "most extreme elimination challange" was on spikeTV and it was just too freaking funny. but we drug ourselves away from the TV to go mini-golfing and it was a good time. we went to this place by Hudson Valley that was very cool called oasis park. i tied with Kevin (58) to beat Beck (67). then we went to Andy's down the street from me for a couple of beers.

Sunday I met Amy, Joann, and John for lunch at Friday's (had the vegetable grill - excellent) and afterwards we went to the Saratoga County Fair along with Carrie and John. I brought my youngest brother, Alex, along and we had a fun time. I took some pictures which I'll hopefully post soon. Xander really liked this huge model train. he kept wanting to go back and look at it. he's so cute. i put him on some rides: the wild worm (a small roller coaster type ride), the big swings, and the music express thing. i went on that last one with him because he's small and i couldn't imagine putting him on that ride alone. and it was fun. they were playing crappy new music before i got on, but when i got on they played Aerosmith and that ruled. i was getting tired and cranky so after we ate some fair junk food we headed home.

so it was a nice birthday weekend.