Apathy

“Apathy is one of the characteristic responses of any living organism when it is subjected to stimuli too intense or too complicated to cope with.” – John Dos Passos

After reading last night's post again, I realized that I'm feeling pretty apathetic about things lately. Here at work I've got WAY too many clients assigned to me - about 110. It's just too much. My cube situation is a little crazy right now too, so I've got nowhere to go with all of my paperwork. The result is a cube that's overflowing with crap, to-do lists that constantly grow, and me running around putting out fires all day. I feel like I'm constantly running on a treadmill that keeps increasing the speed and incline. I really like my job - not thinking of going anywhere or anything like that - but I just want the situation to improve. It's exhausting and overwhelming and I don't want to get apathetic about it, but it's hard not to.

I've become apathetic in my personal life too. Last night we just sat and watched TV instead of finished the unpacking. We're so close to being finished, but there are so many details to take care of yet: which room do I want to use as the office? Where do we want to put the liquor? Which bookcase should the Harry Potter books go on? Where do we want to keep the tools? Which closet should the AC get stored in? Etc, etc, etc... Then there's all the details of Christmas that need to be taken care of... And then the Wedding planning. Oh, and all that weight that I want to lose. It's much too overwhelming to think about any of it. I'll just be Scarlett O'Hara - "I can't think of that today. I'll just think of that another day."

I've got to get past this. I've got to work out a plan to deal with things one thing at a time. I'm not sure what to do about work - much of that is really outside of my control. I'll continue to express to management how unrealistic the workload is. In my personal life, I do have more control... It should be easier to get things off my plate. One thing at a time. That should be my mantra...

It's Been A While...

So... There's a lot to tell.

1. We had to put Ginny down. :( She took a turn for the worse and we had to do it. She was our baby and we still miss her every day. :( :( :(
2. We adopted two more cats. Finnegan and Fiona. Finn is about 3 months old and is black and white and very shy. Fiona is about a year old and is all black with a white spot on her chest and is talkative and bold. They are sweet in their own way, but we're still getting to know them. And they're not Ginny.
3. We moved. Our new apartment is a trillion times better than the old. It's the top half of a two family home in a very nice neighborhood. It's adorable. It is a little more expensive and we have to pay all of our own utilities in this apartment, so I'm anxious to see our first National Grid bill. But I'm very happy to be out of that disgusting old building.
4. No new news on the Wedding Planning front. I must: (1) Contact the priest who may be our officient to set up a meeting, (2) Figure out what we're going to do for Ceremony music, (3) Find and book a Florist, (4) Figure out what I need to do to book blocks of hotel rooms, (5) Book the Bridal Suite for the night of our wedding - what a freaking kick in the pants that would be if we couldn't have that room that night!, (6) Figure out what we can afford for a Honeymoon and figure out where to go and get on booking that, (7) Coordinate for bridesmaid dress shopping and decide to go with one dress for all girls or different dresses in the same fabric/color. That's all for now. Gotta get on that stuff...
5. I haven't started Christmas yet. No decorating done (still unpacking!) and no shopping done (oh dear Lord!).

That's all for now. (OMG! OMG! STRESS! SO MUCH TO DO!!)